Consternations, Realizations, and Love Songs

Nearly seven years ago, as new parents, everything was great and new and a learning experience, as it is for all new parents.  We coined him "Angel Boy" as he was the easiest baby ever.  Since then, I've heard a lot of parents of kids with Autism say this....."He slept all the time.  He never cried." etc., etc.  That was our B.  It wasn't until he was well over a year old when my grandmother's questions of, "Is he saying anything yet?  Is he walking yet?" began to get annoying.  And since, I've learned to never end a question about someone's child with "yet".....It's just annoying, and makes them feel badly if their child hasn't...yet.  No, he wasn't doing any of those things yet.  He hit all of his milestones late.  I chalked it up to him being born nearly six weeks early, and us not knowing how to engage him properly as newbs.  Finally, at around 18 months old, when he still wasn't walking or talking, my grandma mentioned the word "autism".  As a mother of four, and an incredibly perceptive person, despite her 8th grade education, I always listen to her.  We let it float around for a few more months and when the functional words still didn't come, we made an appointment at the Autism Center at the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh.  Despite his being able to count to 100, identify all shapes and clearly name them, and say his alphabet, the diagnosis was easy for them to discern.  It wasn't terribly shocking but took a long time to soak in.  I remember asking the Early Intervention therapists again and again, "Is he really Autistic?"....The answer was always yes.  I didn't know much about it, and the learning began.

Clark came along just before the B's dx, and he was a totally different baby.  His nicknames were, "Cluck" and "the Raptor".  He was a squawker and really made the B seem like an angel boy.  He also hit all his milestones late, and again we weren't terribly worried about Autism with him.  What are the chances of two?  I now know that the chances of two are much greater than the chance of just one.  With every child, the chances are higher and higher.  One of B's therapists suggested we have him checked out, and sure enough another diagnosis.  No amazing memory skills with Clarkie, and at nearly five years old, he's still essentially non-verbal.  We began learning a lot from the wonderful people who came to our house from Early Intervention....their time was never enough though.  We started wrap-around services at the age of three for both of them when they weren't eligible for Early Intervention anymore, and we continue to do that to this day.  We have to fight for the hours we get and have a revolving door of therapists in our home.  In most states, these services aren't available, so it's like kismet that we happen to have settled here for Daddy's job, teaching college animation.

Our third boy is nearly ten months old, and is progressing quickly and as he should, but I'm always watching him and analyzing his every move.  It's what any mom does, but I'm not taking anything for granted.  If we start to have any concerns, we are way better equipped to get the ball rolling with him.